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Caring for someone with dementia is often compared to a journey. And let’s be honest, it’s not the kind with a tidy map and clear directions. It’s full of detours, wrong turns, and those moments where you think “Well, I didn’t see that coming.” But here’s something I’ve learned after years of walking alongside families: every “uh-oh” moment can turn into an “aha” if we approach it with flexibility and compassion.
Caregiving isn’t just about the person living with dementia. It’s about the caregiver, too. When one person struggles, both do. And when one finds a little light in the darkness, both benefit.
The First Hurdle: Acceptance
Acceptance is often the first and hardest step. Families understandably want to believe it’s “just normal aging” or that things will go back to how they were. Friends sometimes even reinforce denial with well-meaning comments like “Oh, that’s just forgetfulness” or “That’s normal for their age.”
When I give dementia presentations or work one-on-one with a family, caregivers often tell me, “I wish I had known this sooner.” My answer is always: What matters isn’t what you didn’t know yesterday but what you choose to do today.
The key is to walk beside your loved one. Not charging ahead with unrealistic expectations, not dragging behind in denial, but right beside your loved one, step by step.
When Behaviors Change
As dementia progresses, behaviors can shift in ways that feel confusing or even hurtful. I once had a daughter tell me, “My mom is being manipulative. This can’t be dementia.” But it was. Agitation, resistance, and mistrust aren’t chosen behaviors. They’re symptoms of a changing brain.
That doesn’t make them easier, but it does change how we respond. Patience, flexibility, and meeting your loved one in his or her reality can reduce conflict and stress. A family once gave me a phrase I still repeat often: “Go along to get along.” Sometimes that really is the best approach.
Safety and Living Arrangements
One of the most common and most emotional decisions is whether it’s still safe for a loved one to remain at home. Families ask, “How will I know when it’s time to make a change?”
I’ve seen many creative safety strategies. One wife asked her neighbors to call her if they ever saw her husband wandering. Some families register their loved ones with police or fire departments in case they go missing. Others have sewn Apple AirTags into clothing or slipped them into shoes to track someone who may get lost.
But safety is only part of the picture. I once worked with a daughter who thought her mother was managing well at home until she discovered her mom was living off plain bread, unable to manage the steps of making a sandwich. She was technically safe, but she wasn’t thriving. That’s when families realize it’s not just about safety but also about quality of life.
Home care could be a piece of the care puzzle that helps your loved one thrive. There are many reasons seniors could need professional assistance at home. Some may require regular mental stimulation due to an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, while others might only need part-time assistance with exercise and basic household tasks. Assisting Hands Home Care is a leading Cincinnati home care service provider. Families rely on our expertly trained caregivers to help their senior loved ones maintain a high quality of life.
When Care Gets Personal
As dementia advances, care often shifts to very personal tasks: bathing, dressing, grooming, incontinence. These moments can be overwhelming, especially for adult children now caring for their parents. Daughters caring for fathers and sons caring for mothers can be particularly difficult.
I’ve seen loved ones carefully remove their Depends, then hang them out to dry in the window, not realizing they were disposable. Others fold them neatly into laundry baskets as if they were regular clothing. For caregivers balancing children and jobs alongside dementia care, this stage is often a turning point when additional support becomes necessary. And that’s not failure. It’s recognizing caregiving was never meant to be done alone.
Seniors can face a variety of age-related challenges. Though some families choose to take on the caregiving duties, there may come a time when they need a trusted home care provider. Families sometimes need respite from their duties so they can focus on their other responsibilities, and some seniors need around-the-clock assistance that their families are not able to provide. Assisting Hands Home Care is here to help.
Everyday Curveballs
Along the journey, families face plenty of unexpected and sometimes humorous obstacles:
- Doctor visits – Loved ones often resist, dismissing doctors as “quacks.” Sometimes the solution is finding a physician who makes home visits or scheduling several appointments in one day to minimize stress.
- Legal preparation – Without a power of attorney, families may face guardianship battles. I watched my own grandfather cling to control, refusing to give my father POA. It made an already difficult time much harder. The lesson? Set up POA early.
- Lost valuables – Hearing aids, purses, and jewelry are constantly misplaced. I’ll never forget a woman who moved into memory care wearing a massive “diamond” ring. The staff worried about it until her family laughed and explained it was a fake—they had swapped the real one out years earlier to keep it safe.
- Unsafe tasks – I’ve seen stoves left on, pots burned, and even toothpaste confused with hemorrhoid cream. The answer isn’t to strip away independence but to adapt: unplug stoves, use smaller appliances, or lock away risky items.
- Excessive phone calls – One daughter told me her mom called her 20 times in a single night, accusing her of theft. Families find creative solutions, from phones with only two contacts to simply letting calls roll to voicemail. One daughter admitted she even learned to enjoy her mom’s “colorful” late-night messages.
- False accusations – Accusations of stealing or mistreatment are painful but common. Arguing doesn’t help. Sometimes the quickest way forward is a simple apology, even if you didn’t do anything wrong.
- Sleep cycle reversal – Many people with dementia stay up all night and nap all day. In memory care, we often helped by first addressing their concerns, such as “going to work,” then gently redirecting them back to bed. During the day, engagement and activity enhanced sleep at night.
A Caregiver’s Question
Recently, a caregiver asked about her aunt, who had been an artist but stopped painting. When given supplies, she created one picture and then quickly stopped. It wasn’t ability that was the problem—it was motivation. Dementia often makes initiating activities difficult.
The trick is prompting. Instead of leaving supplies out, ask for something specific: “Can you paint this bird for me?” or “Will you show me how to draw?” Responding to a direct request is easier than starting alone. And sometimes, stimulation can be as simple as walking outside and sitting on the porch together.
Final Thoughts
Dementia care isn’t a checklist—it’s a journey. And like any journey, it has detours, frustrations, and moments of unexpected beauty.
A few things I hold on to:
- Every “uh-oh” can become an “aha.”
- Care affects both people—the person living with dementia and the caregiver.
- Creativity, flexibility, and support make the hard days a little lighter.
Most importantly: “Understanding the disease is how you survive it.”
When we prepare, adapt, and share our knowledge with others, we not only overcome obstacles but make the journey more bearable, more meaningful, and sometimes even more beautiful.
Caring for seniors with dementia can be challenging for family caregivers. Luckily, there is dementia care Cincinnati families can rely on. Professional dementia caregivers help seniors with dementia stay safe and comfortable at home by preventing wandering, providing cognitive stimulation, and assisting with household chores. For compassionate, reliable in-home care, trust the experienced professionals from Assisting Hands Home Care Cincinnati. Reach out to one of our dedicated Care Specialists today to learn about the high quality of our in-home care services.
